Getting things from here to there!

I'm thinking about auditioning to be the Green Bay mascot, since I think i am the Packing King (or did COLONEL Ghaddafi [sp?] take that title already?). Since I moved out of my mom's (old) house in 2003, I think i've moved at least a baker's dozen times (too bad there was no baker to give me cookies each time lol). @alison and I are moving again on March 5th, and with all this packing, you might as well start calling me A-Pack instead of Amac!

Moving to lawrence for the first time was really tight, but it got off to a feathery start. Me, @sager, and @steve borrowed some guy's pick up truck to move our stuff from OP to the promised land. Since we didn't have a whole lot, I accepted a couch from one of my mom's friends. So, we load the stuff into the truck and we're getting on the main road, when CRASH BANG BOOM, everything falls from the back of the truck. So we move it all back into the truck and get on our way, but then when we're moving the couch into the house, I notice a bunch of feathers all matted on the bottom of the truck. Upon further investigation, we realize that the couch must've hit a bird when it fell off the truck (or maybe landed on one). I used to tell chicks that that couch had goose feather pillows...

The hassle of moving all that stuff made me realize its better to pack light and/or leave unwanted stuff at your old place [lol the pinecone and the Manor ; ) ] I used to just roll like a refugee--a twin mattress on the floor, some garbage bags of clothes, and a shadeless lamp. I moved from the A3 to the Pinecone with just one trip in my old car, with the mattress hanging out the trunk. Then I got an actual bed at the pinecone, but I don't remember how i moved that.

When I came to DC, I just left most of my stuff at the Cone. Your welcome, Bricker. That made for an easy move because i just had a suitcase. I bought a used bed when I moved into my first place in DC (actually falls church VA), and then bought a blogging chair from goodwill. It suited me fine in my windowless basement room, but then I started entertaining @alison, so I needed another place to sit to class it up. That's why I bought the rose-colored beanbag.

Moving to the Manor was pretty easy too because Jon brought most of the stuff...same with moving in with @alison, because she already had the essentials, e.g. pots and pans. But then when we moved, it really sucked, because we had to put things in boxes, label things, rent a truck, use elevators, etc. I figured, "meh, i'm the Pack-Man, I've done this a zillion times, it'll be easy"...but let me tell you something--packing's no walk in the park when you have to clear out the apt, put things in boxes, and move from the 8th floor to the 11th floor...and in two weeks we're doing it again...but luckily our new place is closer to Chipotle.

Lookin' Hip, or, Fashion Tips for the Modern Dude

Since Ion left ADF, there's been no clear winner of "Best Dressed in the Office (dude division)." I fancy myself a stylish dandy, but several non-dudes vociferously opposed my nomination for best dressed recognition. So, I hereby offer my fashion defense and, since "Tips for Living With a Non-Dude" has been my most popular post, I'll give some tips for other young men looking to turn heads.

First, a defintion: A stylish dandy is a dude who comfortably saunters in any environment with an aura of suaveness. Fashion is less about the clothes on your body then about the vibes you send. Whether I'm battling in the boardroom or dancing in the bar room, I always try to inspire others to think, "jiminny cricket, he looks tight".

As a general rule, it is important to ensure that others know what team is the best. This is why I try to incorporate a KU logo everyday. During the workweek, this means a KU hat on the Metro so that other riders know who is boss. Then, I prominately display the hat in my cubicle. On game days, it is important to wear a ku shirt. I typically pair the KU shirt with KU slippers, a KU windbreaker, and obviously a KU hat. I recently aquired a new accoutrement--its a ku lanyard that someone at my office gave me (i just learned that a laneyard is like a functional man-necklace).

In addition to a KU logo, I always try to incorporate a belt. I recommend a reversable belt so that you can keep things mixed up. I also recommend work pants of an ambigous color. This way you can wear them every day but switch your shoes so it looks like you have on different pants (the pants will look brown if you're wearing brown shoes, and black if you have black shoes). In terms of prep work, its important to keep it simple--just shave in the shower so you don't have to mess around with shaving cream, and keep your hair short so you don't have to use shampoo. Short hair is also key when you start to bald. Some people (e.g. @jon) think you need to lather up with moisterizer and essense of apricot skin cream, but that's really not necesarry if you're a badass.

My biggest fashion challenges are:
1) Keeping my shirt tucked in--it seems like whenever i get up from my desk, the back of my shirt becomes untucked. This is why it is important to always check yourself out in people's office windows, so that yo ucan catch this sort of thing. I'm working on inventing a button in the back, but until then, vigilence is the only solution.
2) Keeping soup and sauce off of my tie--the key here is to wear a tie that is the same color as your lunch. So, if you think you'll have guacomole, then wear a green tie, etc. Otherwise, just take off the tie at lunch.
3) Keeping away the wrinkles--I absolutely HATE ironing. I would rather wash nasty dishes than iron. It's boring, it's dangerous, and I'm awful at it. This is why its key to buy non-wrinkle shirts and put them in the dryer every morning.

Things have gotten a bit harder since the time I used a common pile of clothes, but if I can learn to be this suave, then anyone can...just follow the above tips!

Amac's Animal Kingdom

Even though I usually fall asleep around 10PM, I'm actually quite interested in consciousness. I think this is why I find animals so tight--they're these other beings that obviously perceive the world, yet we cannot ever really understand what they're thinking. That's why my main area of animal research is their level of intelligence--the other area of my animal research is their ferocity, since there's just something cool about honey badgers etc.

My favorite animals are obviously dogs and monkeys. My first dog was KC (RIP), who smelled pretty bad but was a sweetheart and was really good at finding jelly donuts at construction sites. I think that's why she lived to be 17. Our family got Mara when I was in 8th grade--she's really smart and good with people, though she likes to be #themostdominant around other dogs. Apparently there's some border collie that can recite shakespearian sonnets, but I think Mara could beat that dog at scrabble. Then there's Vita, our new dog, who likes to chase ping pong balls. Anyway, dogs have unique personalities and are obviously conscious.

Monkeys are my next favorite animal. There's a common misconception that gorillas, orangotangs, bonomobs, chimps, etc aren't monkeys. In fact, the definition of monkey is an animal that likes bananas and swinging through the trees. Nothing gets me going like a commercial with a dressed up monkey--Robotussin is like the only brand name thing I buy, and that's because they have that commercial with the monkey in the cold medicine aisle. Dunston Checks In is of course a great movie. The zoo has a really good orangotang exhibit, and the last time i was there i chatted up the zookeeper for like 20 minutes at the monkey house. The orangotangs each have unique personalities. One of them loves chewing and just goes through a wreck of bamboo each day. I hung out with this one for a while, and he chewed some stuff and tried to give it to me through the glass--that's like the monkey version of friending someone. Anyway, i'll probably post more about monkeys later.

Dolphins are suppossed to be pretty smart too, but i don't know much about them.

The other cool animal attribute is ferocity. When I was in college I learned that the honey badger is the world's most ferocious animal. This thing loves honey like @jennings loves viaka, and it will do anything to scwhangle it--even breaking into killer bee nests. What's more, the honey badger doesn't take crap from anything, even snakes! There's a video on youtube where it picks a fight with a cobra, gets bitten and passes out, then wakes up and eats the cobra. Google it.

Lions are pretty cool too. Like @milkins, they love sleeping and jumping. I prefer lions to tigers because a) Missouri is associated with tigers, and b) whenever I go to the zoo, the tiger just lays there, but the lions sometimes roar and/or jump from between the levels in their enclosure.

Anyway, i've grown weary with this post, but i'll be back for more later...maybe i'll discuss bears, pandas, and golden eagles.

Wheelbarrels Full of Nerves: Daredevils in History

A few weeks ago I went to New York (post on Rigolleto coming soon!), and while there I went to an exhibit on BRAINS. I learned that there are just a wreck of nerves in the human brain. But I think some people have more nerves than others, and these are called DAREDEVILS. And they do cool stuff.

I fancy myself as pretty cool, and though I have a lot of synapses in my brain, I think i'm only average when it comes to nerves. I've done some brave stuff in my life--when I was a kid my friend @bobby and I used to jump across a raging gorge during rainstorms...well, it seemed that way, though when I went home last time and saw this gorge, it seemed like more of a drainage ditch. But it was still pretty tight.

But some dudes just go crazy with their feats of mental and physical fearlessness. I think one of the coolest things is when someone goes over niagara falls in a wheelbarrel. Sometimes when I was a kid, my sister and I would play EARTHQUAKE, where one would get in a cardboard box and the other would shake it really hard. I think this is probably like going over niagara falls in a wheelbarrel, but much dryer and safer. Can you imagine--its like a 1,000 foot drop in churning water?? Apparently some people have survived, though. Just like our space adventures, people first send animals over the falls. In 1827 a group of hotel owners put on a publicity stunt in which they bought a big old boat to send over the falls. They wanted to put "wild beasts of the forest, such as a panther" in the boat, but they ended up just putting in a buffalo, some bears, and a goose in the boat. Turns out the bears escaped before the falls, and the goose survived. Sorry, @jennings, but the buffalo gave his life to science.

In terms of people going over the falls, a bunch have tried and some of them survived. Presumably most of them stuffed their barrels full of pillows or something. Some guy names Karel Soucek survived a trip down the falls in a barrel, but then he tried to recreate it at the Housten Dome by falling into a water tank, but he missed the tank and got scwhangled. D'oh!

I think those people that walked on the wings of biplanes are pretty cool too. I don't really understand how they stayed up there--you'd think the wind pressure would knock them off the plane and into the wild blue yonder. Sometimes I like to stick my hand out the window of a fast moving car and ride the airwaves, and it seems like if my whole body was on top of the car, I'd be pushed away...and that's just going like 65 mph, much less going airplane speed. Never underestimate daredevils, though.

I think tightrope walking is cool too (is that why they call it TIGHT rope walking lol?). It just seems so scary. These hippies used to tightrope walk between trees on campus, which seemed hard, except they only fell like 3 feet. Imagine doing that above a cliff! Or niagara falls lol?.

Basejumping is cool too. There's a youtube video of a guy basejumping off of a church steeple that's like 235 feet high. That's intense. I sometimes like to recreate basejumps using army men and plastic bags...but i'm glad i'm not the army man! (though it'd be fun if I knew it would work)

Anyway, I think daredevils rule, even if i'm too scared to try these stunts. They're probably key to humanity's future, since it'll take a bundle of nerves to brave the scary stuff that'll probably happen when the sun explodes.