Hey all you Robin Williams fans--I know you probably came to this blogpost as an accident after googling "Best Robin Williams besides Patch Adams," but like Dr. Christy Nielson, you'll be pleasantly surprised by what you find! Just like I often am when my eyes close and I drift off to sleep (which won't happen while you're reading this blog, lol!).
When @alison says "sleep tight", I interpret that to mean "have tight dreams", which is something I try to do every night. MY strategy is to read for a while and then think of cool stuff as I lay (sp?) in bed falling asleep. So, my last conscious thoughts usually involve ziplines, waterfalls, and burritos (i guess i think about these things all the time anyway, but I really concentrate on them at night :-) ).
I have varying degrees of success at controlling my dreams. Despite my persistant attempts to dream about cool things, I often have boring and/or scary dreams. I've dreampt (sp?) about work way too much (its like unpaid labor...call the union!). I've had a recurring scary dream in which bad guys are chasing me through a maze of underground tunnels (maybe they think i'm a mole!).
My "dream" dream is to fly like superman, but unfortunately this rarely happens. But, I often dream about flight-like activities, e.g., hang-gliding, skydiving, or jumping off a highdive. Last night I had an exhilarating dream in which I was in snorkling race. I was like a graceful manatee. I also dreamt that I was in a wingsuit over a beach, and had to land at the proper angle to avoid water burns. Obvi, i succeeded.
If you have bad dreams, I can suggest a few strategies for turning those nightmares into nighttights. First, indulge your senses, so that you're mind has a surplus of things to process. Before bed, you can light a scented candle, eat a burrito, and maybe take in a lazer light show. Try watching cool youtube videos or reading action-packed blogs (e.g., beinabarber). The goal is to overflow your mind with cool stuff so that it crowds out the scary things and gives you plenty of dream materials. Then, close your eyes, and viola! You'll "sleep tight".
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Getting things from here to there!
I'm thinking about auditioning to be the Green Bay mascot, since I think i am the Packing King (or did COLONEL Ghaddafi [sp?] take that title already?). Since I moved out of my mom's (old) house in 2003, I think i've moved at least a baker's dozen times (too bad there was no baker to give me cookies each time lol). @alison and I are moving again on March 5th, and with all this packing, you might as well start calling me A-Pack instead of Amac!
Moving to lawrence for the first time was really tight, but it got off to a feathery start. Me, @sager, and @steve borrowed some guy's pick up truck to move our stuff from OP to the promised land. Since we didn't have a whole lot, I accepted a couch from one of my mom's friends. So, we load the stuff into the truck and we're getting on the main road, when CRASH BANG BOOM, everything falls from the back of the truck. So we move it all back into the truck and get on our way, but then when we're moving the couch into the house, I notice a bunch of feathers all matted on the bottom of the truck. Upon further investigation, we realize that the couch must've hit a bird when it fell off the truck (or maybe landed on one). I used to tell chicks that that couch had goose feather pillows...
The hassle of moving all that stuff made me realize its better to pack light and/or leave unwanted stuff at your old place [lol the pinecone and the Manor ; ) ] I used to just roll like a refugee--a twin mattress on the floor, some garbage bags of clothes, and a shadeless lamp. I moved from the A3 to the Pinecone with just one trip in my old car, with the mattress hanging out the trunk. Then I got an actual bed at the pinecone, but I don't remember how i moved that.
When I came to DC, I just left most of my stuff at the Cone. Your welcome, Bricker. That made for an easy move because i just had a suitcase. I bought a used bed when I moved into my first place in DC (actually falls church VA), and then bought a blogging chair from goodwill. It suited me fine in my windowless basement room, but then I started entertaining @alison, so I needed another place to sit to class it up. That's why I bought the rose-colored beanbag.
Moving to the Manor was pretty easy too because Jon brought most of the stuff...same with moving in with @alison, because she already had the essentials, e.g. pots and pans. But then when we moved, it really sucked, because we had to put things in boxes, label things, rent a truck, use elevators, etc. I figured, "meh, i'm the Pack-Man, I've done this a zillion times, it'll be easy"...but let me tell you something--packing's no walk in the park when you have to clear out the apt, put things in boxes, and move from the 8th floor to the 11th floor...and in two weeks we're doing it again...but luckily our new place is closer to Chipotle.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Lookin' Hip, or, Fashion Tips for the Modern Dude
Since Ion left ADF, there's been no clear winner of "Best Dressed in the Office (dude division)." I fancy myself a stylish dandy, but several non-dudes vociferously opposed my nomination for best dressed recognition. So, I hereby offer my fashion defense and, since "Tips for Living With a Non-Dude" has been my most popular post, I'll give some tips for other young men looking to turn heads.
First, a defintion: A stylish dandy is a dude who comfortably saunters in any environment with an aura of suaveness. Fashion is less about the clothes on your body then about the vibes you send. Whether I'm battling in the boardroom or dancing in the bar room, I always try to inspire others to think, "jiminny cricket, he looks tight".
As a general rule, it is important to ensure that others know what team is the best. This is why I try to incorporate a KU logo everyday. During the workweek, this means a KU hat on the Metro so that other riders know who is boss. Then, I prominately display the hat in my cubicle. On game days, it is important to wear a ku shirt. I typically pair the KU shirt with KU slippers, a KU windbreaker, and obviously a KU hat. I recently aquired a new accoutrement--its a ku lanyard that someone at my office gave me (i just learned that a laneyard is like a functional man-necklace).
In addition to a KU logo, I always try to incorporate a belt. I recommend a reversable belt so that you can keep things mixed up. I also recommend work pants of an ambigous color. This way you can wear them every day but switch your shoes so it looks like you have on different pants (the pants will look brown if you're wearing brown shoes, and black if you have black shoes). In terms of prep work, its important to keep it simple--just shave in the shower so you don't have to mess around with shaving cream, and keep your hair short so you don't have to use shampoo. Short hair is also key when you start to bald. Some people (e.g. @jon) think you need to lather up with moisterizer and essense of apricot skin cream, but that's really not necesarry if you're a badass.
My biggest fashion challenges are:
1) Keeping my shirt tucked in--it seems like whenever i get up from my desk, the back of my shirt becomes untucked. This is why it is important to always check yourself out in people's office windows, so that yo ucan catch this sort of thing. I'm working on inventing a button in the back, but until then, vigilence is the only solution.
2) Keeping soup and sauce off of my tie--the key here is to wear a tie that is the same color as your lunch. So, if you think you'll have guacomole, then wear a green tie, etc. Otherwise, just take off the tie at lunch.
3) Keeping away the wrinkles--I absolutely HATE ironing. I would rather wash nasty dishes than iron. It's boring, it's dangerous, and I'm awful at it. This is why its key to buy non-wrinkle shirts and put them in the dryer every morning.
Things have gotten a bit harder since the time I used a common pile of clothes, but if I can learn to be this suave, then anyone can...just follow the above tips!
First, a defintion: A stylish dandy is a dude who comfortably saunters in any environment with an aura of suaveness. Fashion is less about the clothes on your body then about the vibes you send. Whether I'm battling in the boardroom or dancing in the bar room, I always try to inspire others to think, "jiminny cricket, he looks tight".
As a general rule, it is important to ensure that others know what team is the best. This is why I try to incorporate a KU logo everyday. During the workweek, this means a KU hat on the Metro so that other riders know who is boss. Then, I prominately display the hat in my cubicle. On game days, it is important to wear a ku shirt. I typically pair the KU shirt with KU slippers, a KU windbreaker, and obviously a KU hat. I recently aquired a new accoutrement--its a ku lanyard that someone at my office gave me (i just learned that a laneyard is like a functional man-necklace).
In addition to a KU logo, I always try to incorporate a belt. I recommend a reversable belt so that you can keep things mixed up. I also recommend work pants of an ambigous color. This way you can wear them every day but switch your shoes so it looks like you have on different pants (the pants will look brown if you're wearing brown shoes, and black if you have black shoes). In terms of prep work, its important to keep it simple--just shave in the shower so you don't have to mess around with shaving cream, and keep your hair short so you don't have to use shampoo. Short hair is also key when you start to bald. Some people (e.g. @jon) think you need to lather up with moisterizer and essense of apricot skin cream, but that's really not necesarry if you're a badass.
My biggest fashion challenges are:
1) Keeping my shirt tucked in--it seems like whenever i get up from my desk, the back of my shirt becomes untucked. This is why it is important to always check yourself out in people's office windows, so that yo ucan catch this sort of thing. I'm working on inventing a button in the back, but until then, vigilence is the only solution.
2) Keeping soup and sauce off of my tie--the key here is to wear a tie that is the same color as your lunch. So, if you think you'll have guacomole, then wear a green tie, etc. Otherwise, just take off the tie at lunch.
3) Keeping away the wrinkles--I absolutely HATE ironing. I would rather wash nasty dishes than iron. It's boring, it's dangerous, and I'm awful at it. This is why its key to buy non-wrinkle shirts and put them in the dryer every morning.
Things have gotten a bit harder since the time I used a common pile of clothes, but if I can learn to be this suave, then anyone can...just follow the above tips!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Amac's Animal Kingdom
Even though I usually fall asleep around 10PM, I'm actually quite interested in consciousness. I think this is why I find animals so tight--they're these other beings that obviously perceive the world, yet we cannot ever really understand what they're thinking. That's why my main area of animal research is their level of intelligence--the other area of my animal research is their ferocity, since there's just something cool about honey badgers etc.
My favorite animals are obviously dogs and monkeys. My first dog was KC (RIP), who smelled pretty bad but was a sweetheart and was really good at finding jelly donuts at construction sites. I think that's why she lived to be 17. Our family got Mara when I was in 8th grade--she's really smart and good with people, though she likes to be #themostdominant around other dogs. Apparently there's some border collie that can recite shakespearian sonnets, but I think Mara could beat that dog at scrabble. Then there's Vita, our new dog, who likes to chase ping pong balls. Anyway, dogs have unique personalities and are obviously conscious.
Monkeys are my next favorite animal. There's a common misconception that gorillas, orangotangs, bonomobs, chimps, etc aren't monkeys. In fact, the definition of monkey is an animal that likes bananas and swinging through the trees. Nothing gets me going like a commercial with a dressed up monkey--Robotussin is like the only brand name thing I buy, and that's because they have that commercial with the monkey in the cold medicine aisle. Dunston Checks In is of course a great movie. The zoo has a really good orangotang exhibit, and the last time i was there i chatted up the zookeeper for like 20 minutes at the monkey house. The orangotangs each have unique personalities. One of them loves chewing and just goes through a wreck of bamboo each day. I hung out with this one for a while, and he chewed some stuff and tried to give it to me through the glass--that's like the monkey version of friending someone. Anyway, i'll probably post more about monkeys later.
Dolphins are suppossed to be pretty smart too, but i don't know much about them.
The other cool animal attribute is ferocity. When I was in college I learned that the honey badger is the world's most ferocious animal. This thing loves honey like @jennings loves viaka, and it will do anything to scwhangle it--even breaking into killer bee nests. What's more, the honey badger doesn't take crap from anything, even snakes! There's a video on youtube where it picks a fight with a cobra, gets bitten and passes out, then wakes up and eats the cobra. Google it.
Lions are pretty cool too. Like @milkins, they love sleeping and jumping. I prefer lions to tigers because a) Missouri is associated with tigers, and b) whenever I go to the zoo, the tiger just lays there, but the lions sometimes roar and/or jump from between the levels in their enclosure.
Anyway, i've grown weary with this post, but i'll be back for more later...maybe i'll discuss bears, pandas, and golden eagles.
My favorite animals are obviously dogs and monkeys. My first dog was KC (RIP), who smelled pretty bad but was a sweetheart and was really good at finding jelly donuts at construction sites. I think that's why she lived to be 17. Our family got Mara when I was in 8th grade--she's really smart and good with people, though she likes to be #themostdominant around other dogs. Apparently there's some border collie that can recite shakespearian sonnets, but I think Mara could beat that dog at scrabble. Then there's Vita, our new dog, who likes to chase ping pong balls. Anyway, dogs have unique personalities and are obviously conscious.
Monkeys are my next favorite animal. There's a common misconception that gorillas, orangotangs, bonomobs, chimps, etc aren't monkeys. In fact, the definition of monkey is an animal that likes bananas and swinging through the trees. Nothing gets me going like a commercial with a dressed up monkey--Robotussin is like the only brand name thing I buy, and that's because they have that commercial with the monkey in the cold medicine aisle. Dunston Checks In is of course a great movie. The zoo has a really good orangotang exhibit, and the last time i was there i chatted up the zookeeper for like 20 minutes at the monkey house. The orangotangs each have unique personalities. One of them loves chewing and just goes through a wreck of bamboo each day. I hung out with this one for a while, and he chewed some stuff and tried to give it to me through the glass--that's like the monkey version of friending someone. Anyway, i'll probably post more about monkeys later.
Dolphins are suppossed to be pretty smart too, but i don't know much about them.
The other cool animal attribute is ferocity. When I was in college I learned that the honey badger is the world's most ferocious animal. This thing loves honey like @jennings loves viaka, and it will do anything to scwhangle it--even breaking into killer bee nests. What's more, the honey badger doesn't take crap from anything, even snakes! There's a video on youtube where it picks a fight with a cobra, gets bitten and passes out, then wakes up and eats the cobra. Google it.
Lions are pretty cool too. Like @milkins, they love sleeping and jumping. I prefer lions to tigers because a) Missouri is associated with tigers, and b) whenever I go to the zoo, the tiger just lays there, but the lions sometimes roar and/or jump from between the levels in their enclosure.
Anyway, i've grown weary with this post, but i'll be back for more later...maybe i'll discuss bears, pandas, and golden eagles.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Wheelbarrels Full of Nerves: Daredevils in History
A few weeks ago I went to New York (post on Rigolleto coming soon!), and while there I went to an exhibit on BRAINS. I learned that there are just a wreck of nerves in the human brain. But I think some people have more nerves than others, and these are called DAREDEVILS. And they do cool stuff.
I fancy myself as pretty cool, and though I have a lot of synapses in my brain, I think i'm only average when it comes to nerves. I've done some brave stuff in my life--when I was a kid my friend @bobby and I used to jump across a raging gorge during rainstorms...well, it seemed that way, though when I went home last time and saw this gorge, it seemed like more of a drainage ditch. But it was still pretty tight.
But some dudes just go crazy with their feats of mental and physical fearlessness. I think one of the coolest things is when someone goes over niagara falls in a wheelbarrel. Sometimes when I was a kid, my sister and I would play EARTHQUAKE, where one would get in a cardboard box and the other would shake it really hard. I think this is probably like going over niagara falls in a wheelbarrel, but much dryer and safer. Can you imagine--its like a 1,000 foot drop in churning water?? Apparently some people have survived, though. Just like our space adventures, people first send animals over the falls. In 1827 a group of hotel owners put on a publicity stunt in which they bought a big old boat to send over the falls. They wanted to put "wild beasts of the forest, such as a panther" in the boat, but they ended up just putting in a buffalo, some bears, and a goose in the boat. Turns out the bears escaped before the falls, and the goose survived. Sorry, @jennings, but the buffalo gave his life to science.
In terms of people going over the falls, a bunch have tried and some of them survived. Presumably most of them stuffed their barrels full of pillows or something. Some guy names Karel Soucek survived a trip down the falls in a barrel, but then he tried to recreate it at the Housten Dome by falling into a water tank, but he missed the tank and got scwhangled. D'oh!
I think those people that walked on the wings of biplanes are pretty cool too. I don't really understand how they stayed up there--you'd think the wind pressure would knock them off the plane and into the wild blue yonder. Sometimes I like to stick my hand out the window of a fast moving car and ride the airwaves, and it seems like if my whole body was on top of the car, I'd be pushed away...and that's just going like 65 mph, much less going airplane speed. Never underestimate daredevils, though.
I think tightrope walking is cool too (is that why they call it TIGHT rope walking lol?). It just seems so scary. These hippies used to tightrope walk between trees on campus, which seemed hard, except they only fell like 3 feet. Imagine doing that above a cliff! Or niagara falls lol?.
Basejumping is cool too. There's a youtube video of a guy basejumping off of a church steeple that's like 235 feet high. That's intense. I sometimes like to recreate basejumps using army men and plastic bags...but i'm glad i'm not the army man! (though it'd be fun if I knew it would work)
Anyway, I think daredevils rule, even if i'm too scared to try these stunts. They're probably key to humanity's future, since it'll take a bundle of nerves to brave the scary stuff that'll probably happen when the sun explodes.
I fancy myself as pretty cool, and though I have a lot of synapses in my brain, I think i'm only average when it comes to nerves. I've done some brave stuff in my life--when I was a kid my friend @bobby and I used to jump across a raging gorge during rainstorms...well, it seemed that way, though when I went home last time and saw this gorge, it seemed like more of a drainage ditch. But it was still pretty tight.
But some dudes just go crazy with their feats of mental and physical fearlessness. I think one of the coolest things is when someone goes over niagara falls in a wheelbarrel. Sometimes when I was a kid, my sister and I would play EARTHQUAKE, where one would get in a cardboard box and the other would shake it really hard. I think this is probably like going over niagara falls in a wheelbarrel, but much dryer and safer. Can you imagine--its like a 1,000 foot drop in churning water?? Apparently some people have survived, though. Just like our space adventures, people first send animals over the falls. In 1827 a group of hotel owners put on a publicity stunt in which they bought a big old boat to send over the falls. They wanted to put "wild beasts of the forest, such as a panther" in the boat, but they ended up just putting in a buffalo, some bears, and a goose in the boat. Turns out the bears escaped before the falls, and the goose survived. Sorry, @jennings, but the buffalo gave his life to science.
In terms of people going over the falls, a bunch have tried and some of them survived. Presumably most of them stuffed their barrels full of pillows or something. Some guy names Karel Soucek survived a trip down the falls in a barrel, but then he tried to recreate it at the Housten Dome by falling into a water tank, but he missed the tank and got scwhangled. D'oh!
I think those people that walked on the wings of biplanes are pretty cool too. I don't really understand how they stayed up there--you'd think the wind pressure would knock them off the plane and into the wild blue yonder. Sometimes I like to stick my hand out the window of a fast moving car and ride the airwaves, and it seems like if my whole body was on top of the car, I'd be pushed away...and that's just going like 65 mph, much less going airplane speed. Never underestimate daredevils, though.
I think tightrope walking is cool too (is that why they call it TIGHT rope walking lol?). It just seems so scary. These hippies used to tightrope walk between trees on campus, which seemed hard, except they only fell like 3 feet. Imagine doing that above a cliff! Or niagara falls lol?.
Basejumping is cool too. There's a youtube video of a guy basejumping off of a church steeple that's like 235 feet high. That's intense. I sometimes like to recreate basejumps using army men and plastic bags...but i'm glad i'm not the army man! (though it'd be fun if I knew it would work)
Anyway, I think daredevils rule, even if i'm too scared to try these stunts. They're probably key to humanity's future, since it'll take a bundle of nerves to brave the scary stuff that'll probably happen when the sun explodes.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Thunderbolts and Lightening!
For my fans from high school, you may be thinking this post will be about my mutton chops, but imma save that topic for later (for my other fans--my chops were named Thunderbolts and Lightening). Actually, by popular demand Imma post about meteorology. Around 3PM today there was a red alert for Thundersnow, which has piqued my interest in Xtreme weather.
Many scientists debate the defination of Xtreme weather, especially whether it should include whirlpools, rouge waves, that big red spot on Jupitor, and other natural disturbances which, while cool, are unrelated to Earth's atmosphere. I like to embrace all things, but for purposes of this post imma confine myself to events associated with the jetstream.
Though i've been known to crouch down like a hunchback and run like the dickens when i'm outside in a thunderstorm (when you're my height, it's only prudent), I actually love thunderstorms, on the condition that i'm protected from the lightening (FACT: IT IS THE LIGHTENING, NOT THE THUNDER, THAT IS DANGEROUS). One time @Sagar and I went driving around Lawrence during a crazy storm and sagar kept screaming "The wrath of nature!". It was kinda scary at the time but tight in hindsight. Also, it was a fun scary like when you see a gross bug in an aquarium. But my fans are here for learning, not yarn-spinning (we'll see how they like my upcoming post on arts and crafts lol). Thunderstorms are caused when nature has decided its been too boring and should spice things up--that's why many cultures call thunderstorms the oregano of the gods.
Some thunderstorms are extra spicy, and these we call tornados. Tornados are tight (except the mile wide ones lol), especially because they spurred the invention of basements. In most houses the basement is the coolest room (especially when there's a ping pong table), and for this we can thank tornados.
One of the most unlikely types of weather is THUNDERSNOW. This phenomenon occurs when a disturbance in the stratosphere causes snowflakes to hit each other really hard. FACT: EVERY SNOWFLAKE IS UNIQUE. The best part about Thundersnow is that it usually cancels work, e.g. this afternoon. Also, I associate it with sledding, like the time last winter when the Kimmler and I slid down that hill on a blow up pool toy. KAWABUNGA!
Hurricanes are also kinda interesting, especially Hurricane Andrew. Overall, i like weather and hope there're some cool storms this year, but that no one gets hurt and everyone is entertained.
Many scientists debate the defination of Xtreme weather, especially whether it should include whirlpools, rouge waves, that big red spot on Jupitor, and other natural disturbances which, while cool, are unrelated to Earth's atmosphere. I like to embrace all things, but for purposes of this post imma confine myself to events associated with the jetstream.
Though i've been known to crouch down like a hunchback and run like the dickens when i'm outside in a thunderstorm (when you're my height, it's only prudent), I actually love thunderstorms, on the condition that i'm protected from the lightening (FACT: IT IS THE LIGHTENING, NOT THE THUNDER, THAT IS DANGEROUS). One time @Sagar and I went driving around Lawrence during a crazy storm and sagar kept screaming "The wrath of nature!". It was kinda scary at the time but tight in hindsight. Also, it was a fun scary like when you see a gross bug in an aquarium. But my fans are here for learning, not yarn-spinning (we'll see how they like my upcoming post on arts and crafts lol). Thunderstorms are caused when nature has decided its been too boring and should spice things up--that's why many cultures call thunderstorms the oregano of the gods.
Some thunderstorms are extra spicy, and these we call tornados. Tornados are tight (except the mile wide ones lol), especially because they spurred the invention of basements. In most houses the basement is the coolest room (especially when there's a ping pong table), and for this we can thank tornados.
One of the most unlikely types of weather is THUNDERSNOW. This phenomenon occurs when a disturbance in the stratosphere causes snowflakes to hit each other really hard. FACT: EVERY SNOWFLAKE IS UNIQUE. The best part about Thundersnow is that it usually cancels work, e.g. this afternoon. Also, I associate it with sledding, like the time last winter when the Kimmler and I slid down that hill on a blow up pool toy. KAWABUNGA!
Hurricanes are also kinda interesting, especially Hurricane Andrew. Overall, i like weather and hope there're some cool storms this year, but that no one gets hurt and everyone is entertained.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tips for living with a non-dude
As my fans know, about 7 months ago I moved in with @alison, the most awesome person ever. But her awesomeness notwithstanding, it has been an adjustment living with a non-dude. Since I was 18, I've lived with just dudes (yes jon, that includes you lol). It was a great time. When I lived with Steve and Sagar, we used to play poker and have kick-offs (where Sagar and I would run around the house and practice karate kicks). Living with Milhouse and Torre taught me to fend off a semi feral cat, as well as plenty of germs. We also had awesome interior design (eg the Alf for President poster). Living with Jon and Mikey was tight because we had an extra room for all our stuff (mostly their trendy clothing). And the pinecone is legendary and a perfect habitat for dudes. After several moves in Arlington and a good spell at Dude Manor with Jon, I moved in with @alison, and i've learned a lot about civilization and non-dude living. Since even Milk will probably some day live with a chick, I think it's useful to pass on some of the lessons i've learned about harmonous inter-gender life.
1) Clothing, whether clean or dirty, must be kept seperately, preferably in some sort of enclosed space, such as a drawer. When i first moved in with @alison, I didn't have a dressor. I'd hang up my work shirts, but generally I could tell if something was clean or dirty by some sort of special sense (maybe smell, idk). Well, after a week of that system, Alison was having none of it. So, i bought an old dresser from Ion, my Romanian colleague. Now I keep my clean clothes in these drawers, and it helps me seperate things, like dark socks and underwear. Sorting clean clothes is a step, but it's not enough. It's maybe more important to hide dirty clothes. I used to have a little laundry basket that i kept for show, though mostly i just left laundry strewn about wily nily. Unfortunately this system did not contain odors. Alison has taught me that my odors are houdini-esque, meaning that they'll escape if uncontained. So, i bought something called a "hamper", which like a grill has a lid, but instead of cooking meat you put your dirty clothes in there. It makes it a bit harder to do laundry, since i have to lift the lid and move things in a pile to the washingmachine, but apparently it makes the apt smell better (idk, but whatevs). Oh yeah, and also, when doing laundry, it is important to clean out the lint from the dryer and to put in a dryer sheet.
2) Cleaning the dishes is also more complicated. After you clean them, you have to 1) Let them dry, and most importantly 2) Wring out the sponge. Sponges can soak in odors and germs, but even though they only cost a dollar, it is important that they last long. So now i always try to remember to squeeze it out. Also, only certain sponges are acceptable for non-stick pans. Speaking of non-stick pans, apparently you can't use silverware on these, but instead you must treat a special spoon in essense of apricot palm oil before you can put it in the non-stick pan. Even when you use the specially treated delicate non-stick pan ladle, you're suppossed to immediately wrap the non-stick pan in silk and softly sing lullabies to it. Only then will the non-stick pans retain their beauty and innocence.
3) Falling asleep with a twitter-machine on one's chest makes it so the bedroom isn't dark enough to sleep. It is important to turn off one's twitter-machine before going to sleep.
4) Even though everyone will eventually open all the cupboards anyway, it is important to close them after each use.
5) Towels are person-specific, and must be washed. These points are related, and really baffle me, but i've accepted them. To most dudes, it is illogical to care what towel to use unless it is decor.ated with a jayhawk or other cool mythical creature. I mean, one only uses the towel to dry off after a shower, so obvi it's clean, so who cares who uses it, and there's no need to wash it. Well, i'll tell you who cares--a non-dude. Even after a shower, a person can still transmit ickyness to a towel, so they need to be washed every few days, and should not be shared amongst roomates.
6) Shaving doesn't end when one's face is as smooth as joel's. In fact, shaving creates little whiskers that, like sand, get everywhere. The most obvious solution is to just wipe them onto the floor and kind of kick them around so they spread out, but non-dudes have a special sense for detecting stray whiskers (it's kind of like "smell" but a bit different). So, it is important that one follows shaving with a thorough wipe down of the sink, or else just shave in the shower.
7) Similar to whiskers, non-dudes are very sensitive about fingernails and toenails. I don't really understand why these things suddenly become gross just because they've been disconnected from my body (i mean, my hands aren't gross, even though they've got fingernails on them, but suddenly i trim those fingernails and all the sudden they're gross?). But anyway, it is important to trim your nails over a trash can, and to look for any escapees. And if you're like me and hate trimming your toenails (i can barely breath when i try to reach them lol), then you should sleep with socks on so as to protect your partner.
Well fans if you follow the above advice, you'll have an awesome relationship and only argue about what's for dinner (hint: not pizza if you've had it 2 nights in a row).
1) Clothing, whether clean or dirty, must be kept seperately, preferably in some sort of enclosed space, such as a drawer. When i first moved in with @alison, I didn't have a dressor. I'd hang up my work shirts, but generally I could tell if something was clean or dirty by some sort of special sense (maybe smell, idk). Well, after a week of that system, Alison was having none of it. So, i bought an old dresser from Ion, my Romanian colleague. Now I keep my clean clothes in these drawers, and it helps me seperate things, like dark socks and underwear. Sorting clean clothes is a step, but it's not enough. It's maybe more important to hide dirty clothes. I used to have a little laundry basket that i kept for show, though mostly i just left laundry strewn about wily nily. Unfortunately this system did not contain odors. Alison has taught me that my odors are houdini-esque, meaning that they'll escape if uncontained. So, i bought something called a "hamper", which like a grill has a lid, but instead of cooking meat you put your dirty clothes in there. It makes it a bit harder to do laundry, since i have to lift the lid and move things in a pile to the washingmachine, but apparently it makes the apt smell better (idk, but whatevs). Oh yeah, and also, when doing laundry, it is important to clean out the lint from the dryer and to put in a dryer sheet.
2) Cleaning the dishes is also more complicated. After you clean them, you have to 1) Let them dry, and most importantly 2) Wring out the sponge. Sponges can soak in odors and germs, but even though they only cost a dollar, it is important that they last long. So now i always try to remember to squeeze it out. Also, only certain sponges are acceptable for non-stick pans. Speaking of non-stick pans, apparently you can't use silverware on these, but instead you must treat a special spoon in essense of apricot palm oil before you can put it in the non-stick pan. Even when you use the specially treated delicate non-stick pan ladle, you're suppossed to immediately wrap the non-stick pan in silk and softly sing lullabies to it. Only then will the non-stick pans retain their beauty and innocence.
3) Falling asleep with a twitter-machine on one's chest makes it so the bedroom isn't dark enough to sleep. It is important to turn off one's twitter-machine before going to sleep.
4) Even though everyone will eventually open all the cupboards anyway, it is important to close them after each use.
5) Towels are person-specific, and must be washed. These points are related, and really baffle me, but i've accepted them. To most dudes, it is illogical to care what towel to use unless it is decor.ated with a jayhawk or other cool mythical creature. I mean, one only uses the towel to dry off after a shower, so obvi it's clean, so who cares who uses it, and there's no need to wash it. Well, i'll tell you who cares--a non-dude. Even after a shower, a person can still transmit ickyness to a towel, so they need to be washed every few days, and should not be shared amongst roomates.
6) Shaving doesn't end when one's face is as smooth as joel's. In fact, shaving creates little whiskers that, like sand, get everywhere. The most obvious solution is to just wipe them onto the floor and kind of kick them around so they spread out, but non-dudes have a special sense for detecting stray whiskers (it's kind of like "smell" but a bit different). So, it is important that one follows shaving with a thorough wipe down of the sink, or else just shave in the shower.
7) Similar to whiskers, non-dudes are very sensitive about fingernails and toenails. I don't really understand why these things suddenly become gross just because they've been disconnected from my body (i mean, my hands aren't gross, even though they've got fingernails on them, but suddenly i trim those fingernails and all the sudden they're gross?). But anyway, it is important to trim your nails over a trash can, and to look for any escapees. And if you're like me and hate trimming your toenails (i can barely breath when i try to reach them lol), then you should sleep with socks on so as to protect your partner.
Well fans if you follow the above advice, you'll have an awesome relationship and only argue about what's for dinner (hint: not pizza if you've had it 2 nights in a row).
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