Lookin' Hip, or, Fashion Tips for the Modern Dude

Since Ion left ADF, there's been no clear winner of "Best Dressed in the Office (dude division)." I fancy myself a stylish dandy, but several non-dudes vociferously opposed my nomination for best dressed recognition. So, I hereby offer my fashion defense and, since "Tips for Living With a Non-Dude" has been my most popular post, I'll give some tips for other young men looking to turn heads.

First, a defintion: A stylish dandy is a dude who comfortably saunters in any environment with an aura of suaveness. Fashion is less about the clothes on your body then about the vibes you send. Whether I'm battling in the boardroom or dancing in the bar room, I always try to inspire others to think, "jiminny cricket, he looks tight".

As a general rule, it is important to ensure that others know what team is the best. This is why I try to incorporate a KU logo everyday. During the workweek, this means a KU hat on the Metro so that other riders know who is boss. Then, I prominately display the hat in my cubicle. On game days, it is important to wear a ku shirt. I typically pair the KU shirt with KU slippers, a KU windbreaker, and obviously a KU hat. I recently aquired a new accoutrement--its a ku lanyard that someone at my office gave me (i just learned that a laneyard is like a functional man-necklace).

In addition to a KU logo, I always try to incorporate a belt. I recommend a reversable belt so that you can keep things mixed up. I also recommend work pants of an ambigous color. This way you can wear them every day but switch your shoes so it looks like you have on different pants (the pants will look brown if you're wearing brown shoes, and black if you have black shoes). In terms of prep work, its important to keep it simple--just shave in the shower so you don't have to mess around with shaving cream, and keep your hair short so you don't have to use shampoo. Short hair is also key when you start to bald. Some people (e.g. @jon) think you need to lather up with moisterizer and essense of apricot skin cream, but that's really not necesarry if you're a badass.

My biggest fashion challenges are:
1) Keeping my shirt tucked in--it seems like whenever i get up from my desk, the back of my shirt becomes untucked. This is why it is important to always check yourself out in people's office windows, so that yo ucan catch this sort of thing. I'm working on inventing a button in the back, but until then, vigilence is the only solution.
2) Keeping soup and sauce off of my tie--the key here is to wear a tie that is the same color as your lunch. So, if you think you'll have guacomole, then wear a green tie, etc. Otherwise, just take off the tie at lunch.
3) Keeping away the wrinkles--I absolutely HATE ironing. I would rather wash nasty dishes than iron. It's boring, it's dangerous, and I'm awful at it. This is why its key to buy non-wrinkle shirts and put them in the dryer every morning.

Things have gotten a bit harder since the time I used a common pile of clothes, but if I can learn to be this suave, then anyone can...just follow the above tips!